Higher Grounds

Why did I enjoy the feeling of being so high?
Heart bouncing like hydrolics
I was far from being hyper
Hydrated in the flesh
Not exactly what the spirit would decipher.
See I was missing out on the growth, instead, Im pacing back and forth wanting more.
highly intelligent, yet not up to par.
Looking back wishing I was above the influence, like that commercial be telling you
naw man, I was doing things I aint normally do.
And saying things I dont normally say, They call it tweeking. I call it fading away.
Fading away from the reality of things,
destroying my hopes and my dreams, and looking all back, it only seems, I did anything to be on that team.

That team had me missing classes, and failing testes
and wasting time, I didnt have. All to get a little low, all to be a lotta slow,
Why? Why didnt I resist the temptation that was steady embracing my desires? But
thoughts was racing, and I was still chasing this blunt.
But to be blunt with you, I never spent a dime.
it's funny how we find
others who are already there, and they don't care
They provide the supply and share,
because you see, to them its only weed, and they're more than happy, because you're keeping them company. That was me, the free-be.
Just to get high.

See I thought it was cool, to walk into the school-building,
blasted
blunted
Zooted
Pooted
Gampt
Nice
Thrashed
slapped
flamed
You know cuz these were our code names


It wasn't til I realized that I was tired of being high,
tired of walking by
others smelling like I just landed in Jamaica,
going on trips to the gas station looking for joint paper.
Using fabreeze and victoria secrete to hide the reaking,
coming in the dorm room tip-toeing and sneaking. Man I can believe it
grades drop, forget it.
There was no way out. I was addicted.
Or was I?


But along with that Life style came other baggage.
I was so far from God,
stuck in sin, I couldnt win, for loosing.
I was abusing, and misusing the name of the most high, instead of claiming him,
I was the one high.
I gain many friends that loved sin.
was never convicted, just did it again and again.
But me? My heart was broken once I heard what Christ has spoken, to me
I was guilty.

See God had mercy on me, he wanted my attention numberously.

I am free, yes Im free.
My savior has set me free.
No more, no more.

No more shame and guilt. I hide in the tower of refuge he has built.

Im no longer high in the flesh, but now I stand on a much higher ground.
Oh how I love that sound.

High on his love, for He is my drug.
And I will forever speak of his grace.
And now I dwell with the most high in the secret place.

One Love

Some people trip off the thought of marriage. For them it's "first comes love then a baby carriage." I had a dude the other day say to me, "I know you be cheatin". This world is messed up cuz that's what they thinkin. See I believe that one plus one equals one. Like the father, the Spirit, and the Son. He is me and I am he. No one can come between this love. I wanna show the world that this is from above. It's real and forever, til death do we part, thru sickness and health, we can never be apart. real talk, this generation dont have an example of real love to begin, they don't know that Christ came to die for our sins, so they wont understand this love thats within. The love that helps me push thru any fight, the love that makes me wanna be a better wife, and the love that makes me wanna submit. Cuase Im im his wife and he my husband.

Free when I write

I usually find myself in the mood to write at night.
It seems to be so peaceful and serene, I can hear myself think.
As I tap on this key pad, and grab the feelings on the surface,
I begin to release my purpose.
I write for reasons I do not know now,
I write for that lost girl in that crowd
I write for the one who can't express themselves
I write for sick ones and their health. I never write in vain,
I find it necessary to write in pain,
but to not write at all... I find that to be insane.

You see, writing to me is what kobe is for the league,
Im free, Im me, Im writing...
Thru my poetry,
I cry...
Reality hits, I cry
I cry all night, I cry in my slumber
I cry in the storm, esp in the thunder

Thru my poetry
I laugh. I find joy and happiness in my heart
thats when I get my thoughts together and I start

I am free when I write,
free when I cry
I am free when I laugh
and no one knows why.
Im free
Im free
Im free indeed,
Now I rest my thoughts
Now I can sleep....

Autumn = Many Memories

Hello from awhile.

Life has just been life, nothing special, nothing different.

The breeze is a mix-up. colorful and crispy.

Reminds me of school supplies and flag football.

Awww, childhood memories.

Free at the sound of the bell, everyone scampers out the door.

Running thru the redness of autumn that has left its marks on the ground,

just to get home to a pb&j sandwich with a cold glass of milk, simply because

that school lunch just wasn't filling enough.

Homework was far from those of restless and strenuous minds.

However, it must be complete before the play begins.

Time is passing rather quickly, gotta make a move to be outdoors.

Mom comes home from a long days of work, all she wants to do is relax.

Friends knock on the door to commence the fun.

How trendy was a black hoodie in such harvesting weather. Gotta grab it.

mom makes sure she yells curfew time before exiting so it can remain on the conscious.

Walking around the block in packs of 4, tossing a football from one hand to the next until a brilliant mind discovers a plan.

pitch in half a dollar a piece, to purchase eggs.

The dark fell upon us, allowing one to be aware of time.

We all thought to ourselves, " now is the perfect time".

Two dozens of eggs, split it up evenly.

Sheltering the dome, slowly plotting.

First person on site is unfortunate.

Identical crew strolls up, states a single word.

WHAMM!!!

We find ourselves in the same situation as yesterday.

Egg War.

It's in the weather.

October/Autumn/Back to School/Fun.

I miss those days.

Who I am now, hates Who I been

My head was full of lies, thoughts and confusions,
praying to God to wake me up, Lord is this an illusion?"
Been blinded by the world's view, I thought I lost my vision.
Temptations at the door, how do I make a decision?
Knock and the door will be open,
is this how it is? Man, you gotta be jokin'.
I'm in pain from situations, and silence has spoken.
I'm down on my knees, I call it humility.
I been on my feet for so long, that was the pride in me.
Now I'm saying, Father, search me, and find that I'm not at my best.
So many times I have failed, when I was put to the test.
Never thought that I hurt you, or even denied you.
When it seems prayers not answered, whats a sinner to do?
I wanna trust that you're here, right by my side.
I wish I was with you, when you took the Cross and you died.
I could have been somewhere, smoking weed and drinkin',
lustin' after your creation, thru deeds and thinkin.
See I might be floating, but I can't stand the thought of sinking.
I need to believe you are Lord, even when I'm tipsy and reaking.
No one understands me, your Word says you know every thought.
Before I sit and lay down,
Why can't you direct my walk?
I feel a bit like Paul, in Romans with sin,
I wanna do right, but wrong happens again and again.
At Sundays at Church, there's a battle within,
because last friday, I was out mixing o.j. and Gin
It's a spiritual Roller Coaster, and Im sick to my Spirit,
Times up, games over, its time for change and I feel it.
Broken heart, war wounds, Lord, I need some healing.
You say You will take me as I am, but I need some deliverance.
Time to clean it up, Lord Im down for obedience.
You're the perfect one, the Sovereign God you are.
Me? My deeds are filty rags, I'll never be at par.
That tells me I need you, and that's the best start.
Man looks at the outter appearance, I know you look at the heart.
Search me Father. For Your love seems so far.