Higher Grounds

Why did I enjoy the feeling of being so high?
Heart bouncing like hydrolics
I was far from being hyper
Hydrated in the flesh
Not exactly what the spirit would decipher.
See I was missing out on the growth, instead, Im pacing back and forth wanting more.
highly intelligent, yet not up to par.
Looking back wishing I was above the influence, like that commercial be telling you
naw man, I was doing things I aint normally do.
And saying things I dont normally say, They call it tweeking. I call it fading away.
Fading away from the reality of things,
destroying my hopes and my dreams, and looking all back, it only seems, I did anything to be on that team.

That team had me missing classes, and failing testes
and wasting time, I didnt have. All to get a little low, all to be a lotta slow,
Why? Why didnt I resist the temptation that was steady embracing my desires? But
thoughts was racing, and I was still chasing this blunt.
But to be blunt with you, I never spent a dime.
it's funny how we find
others who are already there, and they don't care
They provide the supply and share,
because you see, to them its only weed, and they're more than happy, because you're keeping them company. That was me, the free-be.
Just to get high.

See I thought it was cool, to walk into the school-building,
blasted
blunted
Zooted
Pooted
Gampt
Nice
Thrashed
slapped
flamed
You know cuz these were our code names


It wasn't til I realized that I was tired of being high,
tired of walking by
others smelling like I just landed in Jamaica,
going on trips to the gas station looking for joint paper.
Using fabreeze and victoria secrete to hide the reaking,
coming in the dorm room tip-toeing and sneaking. Man I can believe it
grades drop, forget it.
There was no way out. I was addicted.
Or was I?


But along with that Life style came other baggage.
I was so far from God,
stuck in sin, I couldnt win, for loosing.
I was abusing, and misusing the name of the most high, instead of claiming him,
I was the one high.
I gain many friends that loved sin.
was never convicted, just did it again and again.
But me? My heart was broken once I heard what Christ has spoken, to me
I was guilty.

See God had mercy on me, he wanted my attention numberously.

I am free, yes Im free.
My savior has set me free.
No more, no more.

No more shame and guilt. I hide in the tower of refuge he has built.

Im no longer high in the flesh, but now I stand on a much higher ground.
Oh how I love that sound.

High on his love, for He is my drug.
And I will forever speak of his grace.
And now I dwell with the most high in the secret place.

Communication

The questions pops in my head how important is communication in marriage?

If it is key to building a strong marriage, then it is very difficult for this to happen. You would think both parties would want to be on the same page with things. But why does it seem that someone is always not cooperating? It takes time, for some folks who been married for the majority of there lives, they still dont have it all together. And for me and my husband, it seems we dont have it at all.

I am taking a marriage class at my church. And today the topic was on comunication. I thought it was very interesting. The previous topics were on submission and headship. Wives are to submit and husbands are to be the head of the house. I find it very difficult to grasp a clearer meaning of the word submit. I want to get it right and understand it so that I can practice it, but it just isnt clear cut to me. Some say it means to follow, to be the help meat, to work side by side with him. But the connotation of the word is negative of course. It can mean to some to obey, to keep quiet. But I don't think thats what it means. I am willing to submit if he is willing to lead the way. I want to be less independant if he will step up. I was convicted of this while sitting in class. My thoughts were, Lord, change me. I want to submit.

Back to communication. I believe we need better communication, not just in conflict, but at all times, esp to avoid conflict, because we all know that bad/no communication can lead to conflict. I want to be able to read him and understand him before I want understanding. I want to be selfless, so that I can listen to him and his needs. I want to communicate the things that I know he would enjoy, like dinner when he gets home, or a good action movie every now and then, or saving money. Those things can communicate to him that I care. I want better communication.

This class has brought me to tears because I realize how messed up I am as a wife and how I need to get it together. Its easy to see the fault in him, but the more I read passages in the Bible on Wives submitting, the more I am guilty of not. I think this is for me. So I am definatly challenged by this.

One Body

I am a member of Lighthouse Christian fellowship. I have been going there for years now. It is very different from the tradtional churches, however, this is how Churches get started. This Church is planted in East Garfield park in Chicago and has two locations of where we meet. Of course we meet in the homes of our family, which I believe is a great way to build a strong body because it makes it more personal.

I love our Church. There is so much I like about it. It is comfortable and flexible. We dont have to be flashy or compete with fashion. Another thing is that it is small so the fellowship is great. The teaching is always a blessing because it is led by discussions and requests. Instead of a pastor preaching down at us, we sit in a circle and discuss the Bible and learn together, and I know that I learned so much and is continually being challenged more and more in my walk with Christ. It is so different than the tradition church I grew up in.

I also love my family. We not only spend time together at church, but throughout the week as well. and everything we do, we meet in someones home. I am so greatful for my church fam and the leaders.

One Love

Some people trip off the thought of marriage. For them it's "first comes love then a baby carriage." I had a dude the other day say to me, "I know you be cheatin". This world is messed up cuz that's what they thinkin. See I believe that one plus one equals one. Like the father, the Spirit, and the Son. He is me and I am he. No one can come between this love. I wanna show the world that this is from above. It's real and forever, til death do we part, thru sickness and health, we can never be apart. real talk, this generation dont have an example of real love to begin, they don't know that Christ came to die for our sins, so they wont understand this love thats within. The love that helps me push thru any fight, the love that makes me wanna be a better wife, and the love that makes me wanna submit. Cuase Im im his wife and he my husband.

Relationships

When it comes to sharing the Gospel, how important is it to building relationships before sharing? Some say build a relationship before you invite them to church or before you share. But is that even right? I know that as a Christian I should live in such a way that my lifestyle will be ministry for those to see. But instead of beating around the bush, why not get straight to the point and share Christ. Jesus did it, but he also build relationships as he went along.

So help me understand this a bit better. Give me a little insight as to how I should go about this, cuz I wanna share Christ with the world and invite them to church.

Romans

I read about how the Romans' lifestyles were when Paul addressed the Church with the GOOD NEWS. These people just didn't care. They heard the good News that Paul shared with them, but the Bible said they ignored it and fell into deep sin. These people had NO EXCUSE! They knew the truth, but they still chose to behave the way they did, and they encouraged others to do the same.

My observations are that things are still the same with people today. They have no bounderies of living. Everything is an acception to them. Lets take Homosexuality for example. In our society today, this is becoming bigger than its ever been. I see more same sex relationships than heterosexual relationships. It's like what is normal now? I question that, and if I didnt know the truth I would be confused.

In Romans chapter 1, Paul mentions a lot on homosexuality. There are 2 important messages that needs to be said on Homosexuality.

1) Is for our society: which have lost any meaningful idea of sin, righteousness, holiness and truth. The message is that all lifestyles are NOT acceptable. Some sins such as alcoholism, materialism, and Homosexuality, are wrong, its a sin.

2) Is for the Church (all Christians).What they need to understand is that while homosexuality is a sin, it is not the unforgivable sin. God loves homos just as much as he loves other sinners. Jesus' death on the Cross paid for homos sins just as it paid for the sins of lust, greed, sexual immorality, gossip, jeaolousy ect. The Church is a HOSPITAL for SINNERS, not a SHOWCASE for SAINTS.

So my thoughts on this is that time has changed, but cats still doing the same thing, its just getting worst. If we know people like that, dont be judgmental, be prayerful, and be like Paul... Spit the GOOD NEWS AT'EM!!!

What's going on...

It is a bit early in the a.m. I wasn't able to sleep right away. So many things are on my mind right now, hopefully I can get it out. Recently I was asked to perform at my ministry's Benefit in late october. The theme is on Hope and I am excited to have the opportunity to share my eternal hope.

I have been praying for words to say. I believe that this is a tool that God has blessed me with to share the Gospel to unsaved cats in my path. Now in case you haven't realized, this Benefit is kinda a big deal, and people from everywhere will be here. So I want the Holy Spirit to lead me in what should be said. I dont want to come short on his glory and honor. So please keep me in prayer for the next few weeks as I spend time in prayer, brainstorming, writing and performing.
God is an awesome God.

This event will take place on October 30th.

Peace for now!

A Heart for Prayer

Recently I read a book called The Power of a Praying Wife. This book has allowed me to think about my prayer life and how much I pray for my husband. I am pleased to say I knew very little on prayer for my husband. I was just in the rthyme of praying for his safety, needs, and his journey with the Lord. But I grew to understand that those areas are Just the surface of what God really wants. I learned that detail is important when it comes to prayer and there are many areas to be covered.

I strongly believe that there is power in prayer. Prayer with faith moves mountains. But prayer without faith means nothing.

Another book I've started reading is called Adventurous Prayer, and it has also convicted me of praying too little or not enough. When the Bible commanded us to Pray with out ceasing, it meant just that. Pray on all occasions, it means just that. I have learned to pray as I go. On the run. There are so many things that needs prayer, how can we stop?

I am challenged to build a stronger prayer life to stay in constant communion with my Father God.

Free when I write

I usually find myself in the mood to write at night.
It seems to be so peaceful and serene, I can hear myself think.
As I tap on this key pad, and grab the feelings on the surface,
I begin to release my purpose.
I write for reasons I do not know now,
I write for that lost girl in that crowd
I write for the one who can't express themselves
I write for sick ones and their health. I never write in vain,
I find it necessary to write in pain,
but to not write at all... I find that to be insane.

You see, writing to me is what kobe is for the league,
Im free, Im me, Im writing...
Thru my poetry,
I cry...
Reality hits, I cry
I cry all night, I cry in my slumber
I cry in the storm, esp in the thunder

Thru my poetry
I laugh. I find joy and happiness in my heart
thats when I get my thoughts together and I start

I am free when I write,
free when I cry
I am free when I laugh
and no one knows why.
Im free
Im free
Im free indeed,
Now I rest my thoughts
Now I can sleep....

Autumn = Many Memories

Hello from awhile.

Life has just been life, nothing special, nothing different.

The breeze is a mix-up. colorful and crispy.

Reminds me of school supplies and flag football.

Awww, childhood memories.

Free at the sound of the bell, everyone scampers out the door.

Running thru the redness of autumn that has left its marks on the ground,

just to get home to a pb&j sandwich with a cold glass of milk, simply because

that school lunch just wasn't filling enough.

Homework was far from those of restless and strenuous minds.

However, it must be complete before the play begins.

Time is passing rather quickly, gotta make a move to be outdoors.

Mom comes home from a long days of work, all she wants to do is relax.

Friends knock on the door to commence the fun.

How trendy was a black hoodie in such harvesting weather. Gotta grab it.

mom makes sure she yells curfew time before exiting so it can remain on the conscious.

Walking around the block in packs of 4, tossing a football from one hand to the next until a brilliant mind discovers a plan.

pitch in half a dollar a piece, to purchase eggs.

The dark fell upon us, allowing one to be aware of time.

We all thought to ourselves, " now is the perfect time".

Two dozens of eggs, split it up evenly.

Sheltering the dome, slowly plotting.

First person on site is unfortunate.

Identical crew strolls up, states a single word.

WHAMM!!!

We find ourselves in the same situation as yesterday.

Egg War.

It's in the weather.

October/Autumn/Back to School/Fun.

I miss those days.

Holy Spirit Lead Us!!!

In case you all didn't know, I lead a Bible Study on Mondays with 5th and 6th grade girls. Now let me say that all these girls are known to be direspectful, careless, and full of attitude most of the time. Yes! I was warned about them. But see, I'm the type who likes the challenge. I prayed tht God would guide us through this learning experience. I also prayed for patience and understanding. During my waiting period, God sent me a helper named Kodi. I was in need of help, Lord knew that. Someone who could see change in these girls lives and someone who wanted them to know God just as much as I wanted it. God knew. Things are going great, today was our third week of Bible Study, and it gets better and better. Me and Kodi are always on the same page with things. She bring lots of things to the table and we all learn together. The girls ask lots of questions, I'm talking good questions. They seem to be learning alot. We are focusing on the fruites of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22. Our aim is on LOVE right now. They kinda make me wanna go straight into Salvation. I feel like some are ready. This girl named Lanier is awesome in my eyes. The first day, I asked the girls to write on an Index card if they were a Christian or not, and how do they know. Well she never heard of Jesus and didnt know what a Christian was. So I thought BINGO!!! This is an opportunity for me right here. So I just been showing her the love of Christ since, she has also been very interested in God and asking questions. I feel that she is searching for love, and wants to trust in God. My heart melts for her. But other than that, everything else is great as well. God is using me and Kodi to reach these girls and I am blessed to be apart of their lives... Oh and we haven't delt with a single attitude. Thank ya Jesus.

Peace for now.

Underground Thoughts

Undergrough Thoughts is what I call Spoken Word/Open Mic night at my house. I got the Undergroung idea from the fact that I live in the basement. This event is to reachout to the high schoolers in my community by allowing them to be creative in their thinkink as well as to hear the Gospel and be in fellowship with believers their own age so that they can generate questions. This can also help them network.

Our first Underground took was on Friday. I thought it went great. Lots of teenagers shared what they were going thru using their writing and thinking skills on a different level. I had a few poets come in as well to set it off. There was a variety of talents that night which was a good thing. I was blessed to see what God has started in my own home.

The majority of high schoolers consisted of the youth at my Church. Our goal is to get them to bring their friends so we can grow and reach unbelievers each month. We also would like to have different viewpoints of youth's writings even if its not Godly. I am down with hearing it, we wont turn our shoulder or judge. We trust that God is gonna do His thing no matter what.

I am thankful that I can use what God has given me to bless Him as well as others. We def want to see growth.

Who I am now, hates Who I been

My head was full of lies, thoughts and confusions,
praying to God to wake me up, Lord is this an illusion?"
Been blinded by the world's view, I thought I lost my vision.
Temptations at the door, how do I make a decision?
Knock and the door will be open,
is this how it is? Man, you gotta be jokin'.
I'm in pain from situations, and silence has spoken.
I'm down on my knees, I call it humility.
I been on my feet for so long, that was the pride in me.
Now I'm saying, Father, search me, and find that I'm not at my best.
So many times I have failed, when I was put to the test.
Never thought that I hurt you, or even denied you.
When it seems prayers not answered, whats a sinner to do?
I wanna trust that you're here, right by my side.
I wish I was with you, when you took the Cross and you died.
I could have been somewhere, smoking weed and drinkin',
lustin' after your creation, thru deeds and thinkin.
See I might be floating, but I can't stand the thought of sinking.
I need to believe you are Lord, even when I'm tipsy and reaking.
No one understands me, your Word says you know every thought.
Before I sit and lay down,
Why can't you direct my walk?
I feel a bit like Paul, in Romans with sin,
I wanna do right, but wrong happens again and again.
At Sundays at Church, there's a battle within,
because last friday, I was out mixing o.j. and Gin
It's a spiritual Roller Coaster, and Im sick to my Spirit,
Times up, games over, its time for change and I feel it.
Broken heart, war wounds, Lord, I need some healing.
You say You will take me as I am, but I need some deliverance.
Time to clean it up, Lord Im down for obedience.
You're the perfect one, the Sovereign God you are.
Me? My deeds are filty rags, I'll never be at par.
That tells me I need you, and that's the best start.
Man looks at the outter appearance, I know you look at the heart.
Search me Father. For Your love seems so far.